Weekend roundup 11/11-11/14

Jesus that’s alot of 11’s. Gives me nightmares of Isiah Thomas grabbing a fat chicks ass .

This week The Hilltoppers are a better offensive team than the Tide, Tebow is the Karl Marx of the NFL, Lions get beat in MMA fight, Oregon vindicates Jimmy The Greek, Gary Patterson hates potatoes, Mike Smith pulls a McNabb and the Eagles really are an NBA team.

To kick off the weekend my WKU Hilltoppers made me proud by actually scoring a TD against the vaunted LSU defense proving that maybe the Bama/ LSU rematch is a bad idea. I know the final score was a tad lopsided but even terrible UK had more success against the LSU D.

In other college news TCU coach Gary Patterson pulled out his huge white sack, laid it on the blue sideline in Idaho as he went for 2 to win the game against Boise State. When asked why he went for 2 in his post-game press conference Patterson was quoted as saying “I just wanted to get the hell out of Idaho, I hate potatoes

Outside of San Jose Jimmy the Greek was finally vindicated after his comments 23 years ago when he basically claimed that black athletes were superior to white athletes. The Ducks proved the Greeks theory correct as their running backs and wide outs blew past Stanford’s slow, white defense like they were glued to the turf, winning 53-30 and leaving the mullet wanting a rematch of Oregon/LSU. I mean those fuckers can fly. Wow!

In other NCAA foozball news Kansas State beat Texas A&M in a 4 OT thriller that almost kept Ballsy Bill Snyder up past his bedtime, Houston continues to outscore their basketball team by putting up 73 against Tulane and Notre Dame beats Maryland in the ugly ass uniform bowl claiming the coveted “Rockawear trophy”.

And what would this week’s post be without talking about Penn State/Nebraska? There will be no child molesting comments in this post, no the only thing that was molested in this game is the people who were forced to watch the horrible Penn State offense. I know I feel violated. Jesus they are HORRIBLE!

In NFL news the Killadelphia Eagles further put their fans closer to the grave (which probably isn’t a bad thing) by displaying that they are indeed the NFL’s version of the Miami Heats “dream team”. Only the LeBron led Heat had 82 games to straighten out their kinks, the Eagles . These guys are a disgrace to the American dollar with the money they stole from owner Jeffrey Lurie by losing to the shit eaters from Arizona. Say it outload Eagle fan, you LOST to a QB from Hofstra named Skelton in your own backyard. Hopefully forever ending the term “swagger”.

In Kansas City the Tebow did his best Karl Marx impression by defying all NFL law completing only 2 passes in the game and winning while thrusting the Broncos into a 3 way tie for the NFC west. This proves one of 2 things, either Phillip Rivers classic “shit face” is directly related to the AFC West smelling like a 10 day old diarrhea filled diaper or that Tim Tebow really is the second coming of Jesus, which by only completing 2 passes and winning in the modern day NFL pretty much qualifies as such.

In MMA action Sunday the Lions visited the Bears and tried to intimidate the Monsters of the Midway with their dirty play only to be shocked when they found out Heritage Hills grad Jay Cutler showed what a true dickhead is as he got up from a another dirty hit from Ndamaka Suh and, by which all amateur lip readers at home could read told him to “fuck off bitch.” The Bears matched the dirty play from the Lions in a game that resembled Michael Jacksons “Beat it” video.

Not to be shown up by TCUs Gary Patterson, in the dirty south Falcons coach Mike Smith attempted to impress us with his own huge nut bag and go for it on 4^th down in OT. Knowing that not converting the play would give the Saints a chip shot field goal to win, Smith unzipped his drawers and proceeded to “roll the dice”. He crapped out and showed that he has the average nutbag as the rest of us crackers. Sorry Mike, you are in Hotlanta where average white weenus just doesn’t make the cut.